On Running

XXVIII

2024.01.07

Meditations: 44/50

I just ran my first half marathon yesterday. Well, second, if you count the spontaneous one I did on the beach last weekend. But I hear the ones that you don’t pay to enter don’t count, so I guess yesterday really was my first. 

Below, reflections on how it was. 

Paradise Lost

Out of style, I chose a very easy looking course—a flat road at Fort De Soto Park outside of St Petersburg, Florida. It was conveniently close to where I am spending the fist couple of weeks of January with my family in Florida.

Of course, as you all are bound to know and understand, whenever you elect to do something easier than you should, the world has a way of not letting you get away with it.

The weather ended up being not as pleasant as I had priced in. It was raining pretty heavily with puddles everywhere, some of which were an inch deep. My sister clocked in one of the gusts of wind at 37mph. It was by no means terrible, we were still in warm Florida, but these were some interesting twists, for sure.

Forward, regardless.

Training

I had been running consistently by mid 2023; in the summer, I was pretty regularly running maybe 3 times a week. However, most of that was very slow pace, think 11, 12 min miles, as I focused on my heart rate, with the occasional sprinting session in there. I didn’t start playing around with speed until sometime in November. 

An actual runner (thank you, Gunnar) suggested I alternate between more distance focused runs and speed focused runs, so, come December, I did that. Since December 1st, I clocked in 76 miles, my ledger below: 

Most of the 3 mile runs were focused more on speed, while the longer 5 or 6ish mile runs were focused more on heart rate. Of course, this was in conjunction with some pretty intense jiu-jitsu sessions and some weight training.

In regards to the half marathon I ran last weekend, I was feeling really good about 30 minutes into a run and talked myself into just doing the whole thing. So, I did: I ran 13.3 miles at a 9:39 min/mile pace. That was the longest run I have ever done. 

It felt good, even if it was slow. I think part of the reason I did it was to make “just finishing” yesterday’s half marathon not an accomplishment… now, I had already done it once. Even if it was a slow one, there was a time to beat.

Strategy

I didn’t have much strategy going into the race, but I had a camel back filled with electrolytes and a double shot of espresso from Dunkin’ Donuts. America really does run on Dunkin’.

When I did my dry run the week before I was abysmal at keeping any pace. I had started running 8 minute miles and, by the end, was running what had to be over 10 minute miles. So, going into the race yesterday, I decided to focus on pacing. But, what pace to set?

When I started training for the half, I had wanted to break 2 hours, or maybe even 1:55. Unfortunately, I didn’t commit to either of these goals as much as I should have.

Still, I had it in the back of my mind that I might be able to break two hours, so, I set a target pace of 9 minutes 10 second miles, figuring I’d make up the balance to break two hours in a dead sprint at the end.

The Start

Right out of the gate, of course I ran too fast, as everyone said I would; for the first two or three hundred yards I was running 8 minute miles again. I quickly caught this and started settling into a cadence; I got myself to 9 minutes pretty quickly, and then kept slowing down towards the target.

9:04, 9:05, 9:06, 9:07, 9:08, 9:09, 9:10.

Much to my horror, my pace kept getting slower than 9:10; I stayed calm, though, Jack had reminded me that the first few miles were a warm up. By just before mile 3, I had stabilized at about 9:24 seconds; on track to beat my last time, but not near as fast as I wanted. 

As mentioned, the weather wasn’t very pleasant; we were all windy and wet. Still, it was bearable. But, things quite literally took a turn for the worst when I wrapped around a corner at mile 3. I didn’t even realize that the wind had been at my back until I was now running head on into it.

The Wind

Below, you can see the course; I’ve highlighted that first bend where the wind got bad. 

Boy, was it wicked. With no trees to block the gusts coming in from the shore, it hit me like a wall. However, I had experience something like this with a much lighter wind the week before when I had turned around on my beach dry run, so I wasn’t as phased as I would’ve been if I didn’t realize that it was a possibility.

So, to spite the wind, I resolved to simply not slow below 9:24. I held strong at my pace and continued. Once the trees were back up, the gusts slowed down a bit and I continued ahead. Despite the wind, my pace did not waiver. 

I took some souls, passing those who let the win own them. The competition in me was starting to wake up.

Half Way

The race was shaped sort of like a boomerang; we passed the starting point around mile 5 and it was pure straight away for quite some time. I had just passed a lady who was staying right on my back. 

I realized that I was taking quick, shallow breaths, and my form was inconsistent and questionable. So, I focused on lengthening my stride and breathing in through my nose as deeply as possible. 

I started gaining resolve, not losing it. Hm, maybe the warm up was almost over, after all. 

As I focused on my form and passed the 6th mile market, nearing the halfway point, I started doing some math in my head. Maybe I could still break a 2 hour time, it certainly wasn’t impossible.

I felt better, more clear, when I focused on the breathing and the form. My stride was lengthened and I kept moving forward. Not to mention, the wind was on my back for a bit, now. It wouldn’t last, but it was a nice reprieve.

Pretty soon, the space between me and the lady behind me was actually growing, and the pace showing on my phone was dropping. 

Sub 2 hours was going to happen.

The Second Half

After that, my pace kept dropping. By mile 8, my average pace was under 9:20. Around mile 9, we turned around at the other end of the boomerang and were berated by the wind, but it didn’t matter. I held my arms out to take nature’s wrath in and kept going. 

As I was approaching mile 10, my average pace had made it to 9:15. I decided to mentally run the balance of the race as if I were just starting a 5K. There were a couple times where I wanted to quit or slow down, but I parried my mind at each turn. 

When I crossed the 12.1 mile mark, my average pace was hovering around 9:10/mile, and my phone said I was 1:51 into the race. Time to take it home.

Wild Abandon

In that last mile, something happened. I entered a state that, while reminiscent of a flow state, is not quite a flow state. 

I’ve been in that place before. Every once in a while, jiu-jitsu gets me there, but only after quite a few intense rolls. In high school, I used to get there by swimming and acting. I can think of one recent negative social interaction where I maintained the feeling on and off for a couple of days.

I am almost fully present, and engrossed in the moment, just like in a flow state. But, unlike in a true flow state, negative memories and distracting thoughts and doubts still come up. And, when they do come up, they’re immediately converted into fuel to keep going for the goal, to keep striving towards victory. 

I really can’t think of a good way to describe the feeling in one or two words; it’s not negative enough to be rage or anger, but it’s not pure enough to be flow; there’s still some underlying anxiety and competition. The state feels like it’s cleansing the anxious and angry components that appear by using them as fuel. It’s cathartic, therapeutic even, and it works. 

My eyes get wide and all of reality bends around the awesome gravity of the objective. There is no other option than to win.

The best way I can think to describe it would be, quite simply, wild abandon.

By the last 1/10th of a mile, I was in a dead sprint and crossed the finish line at 1:59:01. 

Running

This post had a misleading title; it wasn’t really “On Running,” it was about my experience training for and running a half marathon. I hope it was entertaining and interesting nonetheless. 

I haven’t yet committed to another race, but I’m sure I will, and I’m sure it will be longer. The fact that I could shave 8 minutes off my time in one week emphasizes just how much the mind is a variable when it comes to performance in running and, well, anything. 

Where else am I leaving minutes on the table, and how can I take them back?

I hope your new year is off to a good start; mine is. I’m largely doing the things I told me I would do everyday… maybe I’ll write about progress and my habit tracker at the end of the month when the results are more statistically significant. 

Live Deeply,