On Going All In

LIX

2024.08.11

Or why I aborted a Europe trip 15% of the way through.

Spoiler: It’s because I’m starting a company.

Pain

I was going to do the whole backpacking around Europe thing while I was trying to start Bird Dog, but quickly realized how foolish that notion was. 

Something I’m sure you already knew: being in Europe as an American really isn’t that painful. It’s kind of great, actually.

It’s not what I need right now, though—it’s an impediment to going all in. And, to get to $100K ARR in 5 months, never having done that before, requires nothing short of going all in.

The Olympics

I flew to Europe at the end of July to see some Olympic games.

They were quite cool. I was going to see Rugby, Boxing, and Wrestling. I missed the Rugby because my flight was delayed by about an hour (which means since I only had an hour of margin, I really missed it because I scheduled poorly). Boxing was interesting, the first fight we saw was with the controversial competitor from Taiwan (yes, I called it Taiwan, CCP come at me). Wrestling was the most enjoyable: there were three fights going on at once. Better yet, I actually kind of knew what was going on, particularly with the freestyle matches.

For context as to why I was even at the Olympics while trying to build a company, I had bought the tickets back in May of 2023. At that point, I was probably envisioning a world where at least one of the two ventures I was involved in at the time was doing very well, and could afford to have one of the cofounders be a little harder to access for a week or two.

Instead, I ended up in a timeline where I am not involved in either of those ventures and am trying to make my new child, Bird Dog, a real boy. This is an interesting situation; there are not yet any real commitments other than self imposed ones. So, I asked myself “Why not” just float around Europe while starting it?

Well, there’s quite a few damn good reasons; “why not” can be such a dangerous question.

The Joys of Remote Work

I’ve been drifting around all year. At times, I’ve found periods of extreme productivity, such as when Adi and I were in Savannah together. Moreover, I’m proud to say that even in Costa Rica, I had both solid input and output. 

So, if I’m capable of doing quite a bit of quality work regardless of where I am, I thought I might as well build Bird Dog while city hopping in Europe. 

As you know, European cities are generally safe, they have long, winding streets, the weather is nice, and the food is cheap. I’m writing this post in Italy; I can walk out of the place I am staying and saunter down the sunlit street to get an espresso while enjoying my morning sunlight. And then, for dinner, I can wander around aimlessly until I find a good looking meal and sit there and eat it, enjoying the climate and street music. It’s so nice!

So, why did I feel so stressed before I booked my return flight for this Tuesday? And when I say I was stressed, I really do mean stressed: I was so stressed that the patch on my beard was getting patchier (gasp). I need more testosterone and more facial hair, not less.

That’s without mentioning that I didn’t even want to tell some of my role models that I was traveling. When you don’t want your role models to know what you’re up to, that’s a major red flag that you’re probably doing the wrong thing.

Austerities

Investing in the long term is all about sacrificing the short term enjoyments and pleasures for long term growth. Not only have I known this for a while, but I’ve been fortunate enough to act on it quite a bit. I seriously think the focus and clarity that comes from that is why I was able to teach myself three programming languages in a month.

There is a cost to everything. Three big mediums that cost can be expressed in terms of are time, money, and health. Often, all of those go together, such as with heavy habitual drinking (read: alcoholism). 

If you want to be someone different than who you are, but there is a long road between you and that person, and you’re not getting there, you need to evaluate what you’re spending your resources on. If it’s something that feels good in the short term, be cautious. That very well could be something for you to give up in exchange for something greater.*

There is still a lot of space between me and the person I want to be. Most immediately, I want to be the sort of person who can take a company from no product to $100K ARR in 5 months. Spoiler alert: I haven’t done that before. 

Thinking I can do that while spending more than 2 of those months drifting around Europe has to be arrogant.

*The something greater part is important. When you get rid of one of these low order things, you free up resources, but that doesn’t inherently mean you’ll spend them on something better. Think about the guy on the high horse because he never goes out drinking with friends but vapes and plays video games instead. 

Why Not?

For me, being in Europe is instant gratification. It’s warm, walkable, has cheap food, the aesthetic is great, and I love history. 

Of course, there’s a cost associated with it. I was gaslighting myself into not thinking that those costs were that big of a deal; after all, there’d be a cost of living anywhere, and Europe is cheaper. And, it’s not like I’d be spending that much time wandering and traveling, right?

So, I kept asking myself, “why not” just go and stay there, it’s not that big of a deal. Unfortunately, that’s the same logic that kept me drinking a lot early in college. Why not take three shots before the exam? You’ll get an A anyways!*

The real answer to the why not question is simple: being here is not putting me closer to my goal. Being here is consumption rather than production. There’s nothing inherently wrong with consuming. That being said, if there is still a long way between the person you want to be and the person you are, then you have to choose how you consume very carefully—every resource you consume for enjoyment is a resource you’re not using to grow.

*Totally not a real example, I would NEVER do that.

The Alternative

Sure, there is a cost to living anywhere, whether it be Europe or Boston… unless, of course, I go and stay at my parent’s house. I’m lucky enough to have parents that will let me do that, so I might as well. Each dollar I’m not spending traveling is a dollar I can reinvest in Bird Dog.

Yes, I’m a 23 year old male that’s going to live with his parents. Five months from now, this means I will either be a bum at his parents house who wasted all of his time and money on, vaguely, “the internet,” or, fingers crossed, a real live entrepreneur.*

Money aside, as far as time goes, I’ve been in Europe for two weeks and I’ve already spent a lot of time on logistics and actually traveling. Of course you can work on a train, but there are a lot of flow interruptions, such as transfers and the kids playing with hot wheels in the seat next to you. That’s not even mentioning the shitty internet connection or the difficulty of scheduling calls in CET.

Of course, the other thing I’ve realized is that, in Europe, going on a walk to “grab a quick bite” often becomes a multi hour adventure. If my mom is cooking me banana pancakes for breakfast, I can save both time and money… more to sacrifice at the Altar of Bird Dog.

So, as much as I love walking out of breezy apartments into sunlit cobblestone streets with 1.20€ espresso, 5€ piadinis, understanding less than a third of what everyone says, and default glyphosate free bread, at this juncture in my life, I value high speed internet, not needing to leave my room, air conditioning, being in either EST or PT, and easy access to capital markets more. 

What I’m trying to do is hard, and it needs every minute and dollar I can give it. If not being in Europe increases my probability of success at all, it is worth it.

*Counterintuitively, being a bum at my parents house who wasted all of his time and money on the internet somehow sounds worse than being a bum in Europe who wasted all of his time and money on the internet AND travel. Thankfully, I care about results more than optics.

All The Way 

A great quote I heard from a very seasoned founder (read: was alive during Kennedy’s presidency): 

I think for an early entrepreneur starting a tech company, the real answer to the above unasked question is “all of them.” 

While I’m grateful for having been blessed with the ability to wander around for the greater part of this year, there is a season for everything, and my season of travel is coming to a close quicker than I planned.

As the cool kids are saying nowadays, its time to lock the fuck in.

I’ll leave you with one of my favorite poems:

I’m looking for that perfect laughter. I think it’s on the other side of a lot more work.

Live Deeply,